How Big is The Pipe?

That it looks like a pipe doesn’t make it a functional pipe.

So fun fact, Adam22 (porn star) and Antonio Brown (American football wide receiver) have been arguing pipe size on Twitter.

Beneath the banter, you can smell the rising stench of insecurity in the room. Half of the guys laughing at the jokes wonder if their pipe size measures up to the largeness of the footballer or the pornstar.

The only person with the right idea is Rene Magritte. Rene drew a picture of a pipe (the one you smoke, not the one you lay) and captioned it, “This is not a pipe.”

And he was fucking correct.

The pipe he drew was a representation of the real thing. But it wasn’t the real thing.

Of course, you could look at the pipe and imagine what sort of pleasure you could get from smoking it, but it would never be as dope as smoking the real thing (no homo) All the picture of the pipe does is paint an idea in your head. If you have sampled many pipes, you can say whether it is too long or short. If you haven’t, all you know is that you see a pipe.          

So back to Adams, Antonio, and all you low self-esteem sons of bitches. Your pipe size is just like the picture. All it does is paint an idea in her head. If she has sampled many pipes, then your pipe will never be big enough. And if she hasn’t your pipe size doesn’t matter.

Of course, this also applies to you lazy right-handed coomers. (If you are right-handed and you beat your meat with your left hand, you’re gay!) If you spend too much time on PornHub scanning BBCs, you will be plagued with the pipe-squeezing burden of low pipe esteem.

What’s the moral of the story?

To paraphrase Rene: “The picture of your pipe isn’t your pipe. In fact, the picture of the pipe doesn’t matter; what matters is the smoking experience.”

Interpret that as you may.


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